Personal Growth Series: Understanding Your Life Script

Today’s article written by JFCS volunteer Robin Ungar. Please note that JFCS will be closed this Thursday & Friday, October 20 & 21, in observance of S’hmini Atzereth and Simchat Torah.

On August 22, 2011, Counselor Jo Ann Kalb talked about the above-mentioned title at the volunteer seminar that day. Jo Ann did a great job and it was a very interesting seminar.

The title of one’s life story could be happy, sad, triumphant, tragic, interesting, or boring, but it can always end differently than what it was before.

The Life Script is the unconscious life plan made in childhood, reinforced by parents, justified by subsequent events and culminates in a chosen end. We began writing it at birth; it’s revised, polished, and updated along the way, has a beginning, middle, and end as well as a main theme and subplots, heroes, heroines, villains, stooges, and walk-on characters. We often live out the very same script that we have written when we were born.

There are three basic types: winning script, losing script, and non-winning script. Winning script is someone who accomplishes his or her goal and makes the world a better place as a result. It is not related to material possessions. It meets one’s goal in a comfortable, happy, and smooth manner. Losing Script is when someone does not accomplish their goal. It is not related to a lack of money or material goods. Non-wining script is the middle of the road. It does not make any big wins or losses.

Winners do not focus on one thing; they always have additional options and will do something else until successful. They know and say that life is not cut and dry.

Losers stake everything on one option. Upon losing, they don’t know what to do, but talk about winning. Non-winners are non-risk takers; play it safe. They neither win or lose big.

There are six basic script process patterns. They are until script, after script, never script, always script, almost script, and open-ended. Until script is something cannot happen until something less good has been finished. After script is when someone starts with a high then is followed by a low. Never script does not take action to get needs met or solve problem; helpless, hopeless position, and broken record. Always script is when someone repeats unsatisfactory pattern or stays in unsatisfactory choice instead of moving on to a better one. Almost script is when you almost get what you want or take steps to fully achieve goal. It could also be when the achiever that never stops to appreciate what they accomplished before rushing off to the next thing to tackle. Open-ended is when someone flounders along until something comes along. They don’t set long-term goals, but reach a certain point then do not know what to do with themselves.

I would say that when identifying my script process, I always say “why does this always happen to me?” I am more of a pessimist than a optimist. A volunteer said that the basic script process patterns all sound negative and wanted to know where the positive ones are. If you are waiting for something to happen, it will probably never happen; the future is coming.


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